Mario and Luigi enter the 'Wiivolution'
by C. Mechayoshi
Summary: The Mario bros are about to experience the newest era in gaming like never before. Now however Mario and co take things too far, falling victim of the dreaded console wars!
1. The Launch

**Mario and Luigi enter the 'Wiivolution'**

 **By: C. Mechayoshi**

 **Part 1: The launch**

 **Created: 8/24/17, 8/26/17**

 **Summary: The Mario bros are about to experience the newest era in gaming like never before. How will they fare during the heated console wars? (A time capsule story of sort about the introduction of the Wii, and then some!)**

 **Author note: I think this was an important time for Mario in a meta sense and introduced a shift in the gaming industry in general. This story won't go that far with the concept, but I thought it would be a interesting idea to look back at that era in a satirical light. Influenced (kinda) by: Kibo fiction: Spot's Tiny Wii (2008)**

* * *

Luigi's feet dragged as he entered his bedroom, just barely reaching his bed before they gave out. The moment he collapsed on to the white sheets and his head hit the cool fluffy pillow, his eyes closed and refused to open again as if sealed with a 'Mario'(R) brand glue gun. (A real thing!)

This had been a hectic day for a November, known as Rebmevon in the Mushroom Kingdom. For starters, the early day was filled with Bowser business. The Koopa King turned Toads into bricks and Princess Peach was unable to rectify the situation on her own. The brothers and the princess spent hours returning the Toads to normal the hard way; taking each brick apart from the block and hoping a Toad popped out alive. Fortunately all survived, but Bowser got away!

Second, the brothers had to make a "quick" trip to Rogueport as the 222th annual gang war broke out. It was bizarre for the brothers to team up with the local swat team, but with so many illegal mushrooms involved, not even the Marios could handle it alone. The bust ended with an explosion as the criminals stored deranged Bob-bombs in a store room next to the mushrooms. After that everyone went home, including the criminals seeing that the whole thing was now useless, and the Mario brothers essentially had their afternoon wasted. Once they got home, Luigi found that Mario had snuck back two mushrooms because he "got hungry". They were stuffed into a cupboard and forgotten.

The Mario brother's evening meal was interrupted by an urgent call from another princess, this time Daisy. Once they visited Sarasaland, they found that people were turned into bricks...again. The Mario brothers were prepared with pickaxes which they handed to Daisy to get a head start while they went straight for Bowser- er Tatanga? Beating up the space alien proved difficult. He wasn't a tough fighter, but being in a spaceship made all of the difference. By the time they'd finally pounced him, it was almost 9 PM and they hadn't even freed half of the bricked civilians. The end result was Mario and Luigi returning home at 12 AM.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Mario cut off the alarm at 1 AM and hopped out of bed.

"Hey, Weegee! Get up!"

Luigi's red eyes shot open. "Mario... It's one o'clock..."

Mario pointed at the calendar that was posted on the wall. A certain date had a red circle around it. "Yep, we have to hurry in line. We can forget about eating, were not gonna want to eat once we get our Wii!"

"Our w-what?"

"Wii!" Mario repeated as he shook his younger brother. "It's November or Remember or whatever they call it here, the 19th. The Wii is HERE!"

Luigi turned away from Mario and curled up. "I completely forgot about that... Uhg...can't we get it later? Ow, stop pushing!"

"No, little brother. Trust me, this will be so amazing you'll thank me for it."

"I doubt it. Besides, like, we're only buying one so why in the Banzai Bill do I need to be with you?"

"Protection."

Luigi leaned up. "...Seriously? You need me?"

"Yes-" Mario leaned close. "You know how the Mafia gets on new console releases, right? If only I had a faithful, energetic, brave, little brother to have my back-"

"Alright already, move!"

Mario got out of the way as Luigi jumped out of bed and dragged his feet once more. Luigi was still quite fond of their GameCube but he imagined this would be simple enough. Wait and practically sleep in line until they get the new "revolutionary" video game, then crash in bed. After all, they'd be the first in line...

...Mario and Luigi were 64th and 65th in line respectively. It was cold and dark outside the 'Toys R Us' and the children utopia was anything but, with the adults standing in line clearly as sleepy and irritated as Luigi.

He glanced at his flip phone for the time. "Only 2 AM?! Bro, when do they give them out again?"

Mario turned back with a warm smile and eager spirit. "They open at eight, bro."

Luigi yawned. "I'm just gonna rest here and...zzzz," his words trailed off as he leaned against the stone building for support and took a quick visit to Subcon before he knew it.

* * *

"What do you mean you only have twenty in stock?! There are literally _hundreds_ of us out here!"

Luigi jolted at sound of the voice, almost stumbling over his own feet. Up ahead was the offending Toad, Zess T. Luigi saw that the sun had began to rise and the line now wrapped behind the building.

"And here I am, just wanting to get a darn Wii for my niece and nephew. I should sue!"

The young looking Toad clerk gasped. "B-but we said in the ad, 'quantities limited'. Y-you can always get a raincheck-"

"You're gonna have to be 'checked' pulling stuff like that on us!" Zess stomped out of line along with large groups of others, mostly those behind the Mario bros.

Luigi poked Mario. "Bro...what going on? What time is it?"

Mario turned back, still beaming. "Seven. Almost there!"

Luigi rubbed his eyes. "Oh, good...I mean wait. Didn't he just say there's only twenty? What's the point anymore?"

Mario chuckled. "Anything can happen. People might get out of line at the last minute."

"I doubt it."

"You doubt me too much."

"You give me no choice." Luigi yawned again. "But whatever, just one hour to go. What can happ-"

"The mafia!" screamed one of the clerks manning the doors, this time an older koopa. An old black luxury car with dark tinted windows skid to a stop in front of the building. All four doors of the car swung open to reveal four business suit wearing Piantas armed with Super Scopes.

"Dis is a stick up!" one wearing a fedora and blue tie yelled. "Hand ova a Wii or y'all all be whacked!"

This sent the remaining crowd into a panic, though they were sure to not actually get out of line.

Mario leaned towards Luigi's ear. "I knew this would happen!'

The color drained from Luigi's face. "This is serious business all of a sudden!"

Mario shook his head. "It was always serious, little bro. Let's handle this."

After a quick nod of assurance from Luigi, Mario stepped forward, his action making the crowd hush slightly.

"Whose dis?" The blue tie clad one asked. His accomplices shrugged.

"It's me, Mario!"

"Mario?"

"Hey Underboss!" another Pianta spoke up. "I know who dis is!"

"Spill it!"

"Dis Mario!"

"I know that, you idiot!"

"Umm, guys?" Mario interrupted. "I know we all want a Wii, but can't we talk this out?"

The Underboss turned back to Mario. "Oh dat. Boss wants one for his grandson and he's gonna get one!"

"Oh well uh, that's great! Hey, if you stand in line you'll get one like the rest of us. I mean, there's totally hundreds in stock and it's almost launch time!"

The Underboss marched straight up to Mario, towering over the hero. "For real? Cause if dats a fib, you will regret it little man!"

Sweat formed on Mario's forehead as he tried to keep his eyes from wandering down at the silver barrel aimed near his chest. "Totally not a lie. Would I lie? I'm Mario!"

* * *

"Why did you lie?"

It was 7:45 and the Underboss was in line just a few people away behind the brothers. The mobster car still lingered in front of the 'Toys R Us', complete with armed gangsters inside.

Mario stood like a statue.

Luigi continued. "Bro, they have twenty. How are we gonna pull it off? _We're_ not even getting a Wii! Something amazing would have to happen for-"

Amazingly a souped-up Ford F-150 with oversized chrome wheels and tons of garish green 'X-BOX 360' logos on it creeped in front of the building. The windows rolled down and hip hop music blasted. Standing in the bed of the truck was two hot 'deported from Dinosaur Land' models wearing green swim suits and a Toad 'pimp' with oversized clothes, gold chains, and shutter sunglasses.

"YO YO YO!" he screamed in the megaphone. "Nintendo is for babies! Buy a Xbox 360, losers!"

"I gotta stop saying things that kick off events," Luigi muttered. "Right, Mario? Bro. Bro?"

Luigi saw that the 'blast processing' or whatever the slogan was for the Xbox 360 had broken Mario out of his stupor. Mario glared at the Microsoft representatives, the 'true gamers' as they'd want impressionable patrons to believe, with his fists balled. Luigi suddenly remembered that the one of the few things that made Mario lose his temper was console wars.

"Mommy mommy, I wanna Xbox now!" one goomba child whined to their parent.

The drowsy parent blinked a few times. "Dear, is it cheaper..."

"Uh, I dunno. But we can go to the store right now and not wait in line- hey mommy why are you dragging me away so fast?!"

After that, several others in line abandoned it and scattered off to buy an expensive console that had in its defense been out for a year already.

"Hey, Underboss?" one of the Piantas shouted from the window of the mobster car. "How about one of-" The Underboss aimed his Super Scope at him. "Never mind Underboss, heh heh!"

Mario shrugged. "They were traitors anyway. Oh look, we're 34th in line or something now!"

Luigi checked the clock. 7:50. "Oh yes, but not good enough. Why don't I say something to kick off the next event? Oh I wonder what could happen now-"

Just then an sleek looking 'piano black' sports car with a single modest PlayStation logo on the hood and 'SONY' license plate pulled up. It parked behind the mobster car but it did so politely and with class. Out of it stepped a Lakitu and a Wiggler in a tux, dressed like they were ready for a five star club in a Jelectro Bond movie.

"Hello fellow gamers. We want to present to you the next level of entertainment," the Lakitu spoke in a low voice.

The Wiggler opened a briefcase to reveal a shiny new 60 gb PlayStation 3 and held it out to everyone, resulting in a few "oohs" and "ahhs".

"Yes, you see, this console can do it all; the ultimate multimedia machine. Games, CDs, movies, internet, wifi, 'Blu-ray'-"

"What's that?" someone from the crowd asked.

"It is..." suddenly the Lakitu's eyebrows furrowed. "Er, well it's a disk thingy."

"Like what, a game?" Mario asked suspiciously.

"A video format," the Wiggler answered.

"So like a DVD then. Won't I have to repurchase my entire collection?"

The Lakitu and Wiggler stared at each other for a moment before the Wiggler spoke again. "True, but it's better than those ancient other discs- it'll be the only thing on shelves. Plus the PS3 has already been out for a week!"

Mario face palmed, but that explanation was enough to convince several more people to drop out of line. Mario would have protested farther but once he saw that he was now the 20th person in line, he was his giddy self again. It was 7:59 and both competitor cars were gone.

"Weegee!" Mario cheered, grabbing Luigi by the shoulders. "I told you, didn't I?!"

Luigi avoided his gaze, a shy smile creeping on his own face. "I guess so, big bro. I was wrong to doubt you.."

"But that's okay," Mario sang, "cause we're gonna have a Wii party with the twentieth and last Wii!"

"...Underboss, you hear dat?"

"I do hear dat. Dis Mario sure thinks he's a funny guy."

Mario and Luigi froze in their embrace, a certain analogy involving all of the bricks they broke yesterday coming to mind.

"Get dat Mario wise guy!" Underboss commanded.

The moment the car doors opened, Luigi tackled the Underboss to the ground before he could pull the Super Scope from his jacket. His fedora flew off and stringy grey hairs flopped around.

Luigi pinned the pianta's arms down in swift motion. "You will never hurt my brother!"

Instead of resisting, he seized up. "Ow! The green one knew 'bout my bad hip.."

The crowd cheered but as much as Luigi wished it was over him, it was actually because the clock struck 8 AM.

"Underboss!?" his goons screamed in unison. They crowded around Luigi, ignoring Mario for the moment.

"Luigi?" Mario called. Suddenly a claim ticket was thrust into his hand by a tired looking Toys R Us employee; the last ticket. Droves of people dispersed from the store while a considerably smaller group pranced inside as if their beige colored ticket was a golden one. Mario was tempted to join them, but with his brother being surrounded by gangsters who could and would snap either of them like a twig, there were more important matters.

Mario stood behind the gangsters. "Step away from my brother. It's me you want."

"No, it's an medic I want!" Underboss said, his voice now hoarse.

Mario pulled Luigi away from the pianta 'mosh pit'. "Thanks for that. Are you okay?"

"Uh yeah, I'm all here. I thought I'd turned invisible for a moment...Is that the Wii ticket?!"

"Yeah. Whatta bout that Wii?" one mobster asked as the other two helped the Underboss up.

"Forgettaboutit. We can, ugh! ...Follow one of these suckers and...'convince' em to hand one over!"

"No!" Mario screamed. "I mean, here." He handed the ticket to the Underboss.

Luigi started. "Bro, that's the last ticket, right?"

Mario breathed deeply. "It is, but no one needs to get hurt over this and your boss or whatever did technically stand in line so it not like you guys completely cheated. Besides, I did lie when I shouldn't have. Take it. Let your grandson enjoy his launch day Wii.."

Underboss stared silently for a few seconds, enough to give even Mario the chills. "Walk me to em," he finally said.

"What, Underboss?" The gangster to the right asked.

"Walk. Me. To. Em." The gangsters helped him take a few painful steps up closer to Mario. "It's Mario, right?"

Mario nodded slowly.

"You a real man, you know dat? I know we're scary, and rightly so- I would skin youse any other day! But we know selflessness when we see it. Your brother almost whacked me, but you're alright. Know dat?"

Mario opened his mouth but no words came out.

"He is," Luigi said. He put his arm around Mario, realising then that he was trembling but doing well hiding it. Luigi always admired Mario's ability to hide fear.

"Now Larry, get dat Wii. We'll be in the car."

"Yes, Underboss!" 'Larry' replied as the mobster retreated to their car.

Mario silently turned to Luigi to fist bump. "Glad no one got hurt, well aside from him. But we have no Wii. Sorry I dragged you out here for nothing.."

The two brothers were about to walk away when a Toad girl clerk went "psst" from the front door.

"Are you talking to us?" Mario asked.

The employee nodded. "Didn't I hand you a ticket and not those mob bozos?"

Mario shrugged. "You have to compromise for the sake of peace sometimes."

She gave the brothers a surprised look and then motioned them to walk inside. The store was eerily quiet and clean to be a toy store. "I understand now what you did there, so I got something for you." She handed Mario a large paper bag containing a Wii.

"What?" both brothers exclaimed.

"Shh! There wasn't really twenty. All of us employees got one and that one is mine."

"But don't you want your Wii?" Mario whispered, still staring stupidly at the bag.

"Nah, Xbox is better..."

Mario's eye twitched.

"He means, thank you!" Luigi said quickly.

That morning the Mario brothers came home with a Nintendo Wii, dropped its bag on the couch, and headed straight for their bedroom. Luigi also vowed to keep it a secret that he'd dabbled with an original model Xbox over Daisy's a few times, before his eyes became glued shut once again.

 **Next time: The experience...  
**


	2. Bootleg Mushrooms

**Mario and Luigi enter the Wiivolution**

 **Part 2: Bootleg mushrooms**

 **Finished: 8/25/17, 8/27**

 **Author note: It continues. If it's not obvious, the console manufacturers are like in the real world. Mario and friends are associated with Nintendo but they don't have to exclusively play and buy those games.**

* * *

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Luigi always got up after Mario and this was no exception. He blinked a few times as he realized that Mario's bed was predictably empty, and the smell of Italian food was in the air of their cozy home.

"It's your favorite," Mario said as Luigi stepped into the kitchen. He was at the table reading the paper with a plate of appetizing spaghetti in front of him. The microwave clock showed 1 PM.

Luigi stretched and yawned. "Thanks bro. Have you opened the present?"

Mario chuckled. "You mean bag? It's still on the couch. I wanted to unbox it with you."

"Oh yeah." Luigi sat across from Mario, where his plate waited for him. "The last time we waited in line like that was for that TV sale on Christmas, the one that ended up being a cheap off brand."

Mario chuckled. "But it works just fine doesn't it? Anyway, let's hurry up!"

After their brunch they moved to the den and Mario pulled the Wii from the bag. Both brothers took a moment to observe the white minimalistic box. Luigi had to admit he was slightly more impressed than he had been before. It was pretty sleek after all.

"Okay so would you please clear out a spot?" Mario asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Our TV only has one av input, remember? It is a 'cheap brand'," Mario added slyly. "Unhook the GameCube."

Luigi stared blankly. "Unhook the GameCube?"

"Yes. That console setting under the TV that's shaped like a cube; unhook it."

 _The Nintendo GameCube._ The silver colored console had been a staple of their den since 2001 and brothers spent countless hours on it with each other and with friends. Their game collection included every genre in addition to their own brand. They were also loaded in accessories, from the Gameboy Player, to Wavebirds, memory cards, bongos, action replay, and the rarely used LAN adapter.

Luigi lifted up the dusty console and placed it aside, along with is various cables and purged the glass case under the TV of everything but the games, controllers, and memory cards. He vaguely remembered the Wii's backwards compatibility, if only due to Mario repeating the sales pitch so much.

"Stop staring at it and put it in the bag." Mario was still observing the box.

"Fine..." Luigi placed the GameCube in the bag the Wii was previously in.

"Now get over here. Time for revolution!"

Luigi rolled his eyes. "Open the thing already."

Mario opened the box and slid out one of two blue cardboard trays. That tray contained cables and the stand, other other tray the system, controller, and Wii Sports disc. Mario was immediately struck at how light the tiny white console was, and Luigi mesmerized by the Wii remote. After fiddling around connecting it to the tv, (because both brothers refused to look at the instructions), and troubleshooting problems like the remote cursor not appearing in screen (due to not reading instructions again), and arguing on which way the Wii would be oriented, (they settled on upright) it was about two o'clock pm and Mario household was finally ready to experience the Wii.

Luigi fed the disc into the Wii's slot while they were in the main menu. By then they'd already made a few Miis of themselves and friends, and even some enemies, and added an SD card into the slot. They'd play around with the other channels later.

Mario stood straight in front of the tv, holding the Wii remote and nunchuck tightly. "I'm ready!"

Luigi slump down on the couch. "Too bad we forgot to buy another controller.."

"We can take turns." Mario selected the tennis game first. "Okay now I'm about to really experience tennis like never before!"

"Stop sounding like a commercial. Look, you're already losing."

Mario turned his attention back to the screen. "Well, if only I could figure out how to move my character. 0-40 already?!"

Luigi smiled mischievously at seeing his elder brother fail. He'd have to admit that Mario was typically the better gamer, especially in action games since Luigi was more of a RPG and strategy guy. "I don't think you can, big bro." He watched the portly plumber in front of him flail his arms, missing shot after shot.

"I lost?!" Mario said, sounding more surprised than upset. "But I'm great at 'Mario Power Tennis'. How can I suck so much at this?"

Luigi took the remote from him. "Let me have a go."

"Yeah whatever.." Mario sat on the floor.

Luigi struggled at first, but caught on eventually and won his very first game. "Wow, that was actually..fun!"

Mario flushed behind Luigi's back. "Oh good for you... Let's try baseball?"

Luigi chose baseball. He won but got annoyed at how he couldn't directly control his characters. Mario comically flailed around again during his turn but he actually made contact this time and also won. Mario stared at the results screen contemplating. "Let's give boxing a try. I think it uses the nunchuck."

The boxing game riled their spirits up a bit. Mario went wild in the air like the ball of energy he was, and pummeled his opponent that happened to be the Mii they made for Bowser.

Mario handed the controller to Luigi. "Ready to break a sweat?"

"Not really." Luigi found it reasonably fun if not tiring after a while. This was definitely a game more suited for Mario. He chose golf afterwards, but the brothers quit after they lost the patience for eighteen holes. Last was bowling. While fun, the brothers again lost the patience to complete the game.

Mario held his chin in his hand like a critic as he sat on the couch. The brothers often did their best 'Siskel and Ebert' impression when buying a new game for fun. "So, the graphics. The models are simple, but I like the Miis and punching Bowser was fun. Plus you get variety of sports and it is a freebie."

"But the games lacked depth," Luigi challenged.

"But it's free."

"So is a fuzzy infestation! Okay bad analogy, but they're still shallow."

"Whatever. Thumbs up."

Luigi opened the Mii channel again. "That's your opinion, bro. The motion controls are the biggy. They were fun but I'd rather press a button. Thumbs down."

Mario shot daggers at Luigi. "Motion controls are the future."

"What commercial did that come from? All I'm saying is that we had better alternatives to all of those games in our GameCube library. Now I could sure use some Melee right now." Luigi got up, and Mario did afterwards.

"Hold on. I'm gonna get some snacks." And maybe that'll make us appreciate the Wii more, Mario thought. He loved the Wii as any Nintendo fan would, but Luigi did have a point. They needed some better games.

Mario entered the kitchen and made a b-line for the cupboard. Chips, pretzels, and some really bright red mushrooms. Mushrooms it was. He brought them back to Luigi, who idly accepted one. Mario scarfed his down immediately, being struck by its more vivid than usual flavor. Then the flavor turned sour, meaning only one thing. The mushrooms from yesterday's Rogueport raid must have been… BOOTLEG!

"Weegee!" Mario said. He heard his voice echo, becoming more and more distorted. Despite the auditory disturbances, he clearly saw that Luigi taken a bite from his Mushroom already.

"Bro, what's up?" Luigi asked, he voice drowning in reverb. "I'm gonna make a Mii of that Waluigi jerk."

Luigi clicked on 'create new mii'. In a flash Mario found himself in a white void room with faceless people all around. Some wore multicolored shirts with grey pants and others dresses. They walked around aimlessly, occasionally stopping to speak to each other in an indecipherable language, or even sneezing.

"Where the Banzai Bill am I?!"

A hand grabbed Mario and lifted him higher and higher.

"I should start with these eyes," Luigi's voice droned.

Mario was now in a make over studio, complete with a mirror in front of him. He trembled as he saw that he'd been reduced to a red colored Mii with a blank red hat. Despite lacking eyes, he could see his blank face with a narrow nose. Mario screamed.

"Okay, okay bro! Gosh! I'll try this."

A new bulbous nose appeared on Mario. He wanted to cry, but he had no eyes yet. "Weegee! Please please please please…" he sobbed.

"Huh bro? Okay, I'll go with this."

Black eyes with wrinkles popped on to Mario's face, granting his wish. Then a cheesy looking grin.

"No no no no no no!"

"Fine. Let's compromise." Luigi chose a different mouth, an asymmetrical smirk.

"Weegee...you gotta end this-"

A thin, unimpressive mustache materialized under Mario's nose. "Not before I add this. Ha! Oh, and we have to change the color to purple."

Mario saw in the reflection a crude caricature of Waluigi, complete with the misshapen nose, devious grin, sneaky eyes and lame mustache. Throughout his agony, Mario couldn't help but to wonder why his brother wasn't freaking out. They'd both eaten the mushroom, right?

"Mario. You're taking this thing way too seriously; shaking and shuddering over there-" Luigi turned to his right and saw...

...the Mii he'd just created! Both brothers screamed hysterically.

…

…

Luigi descended from the cloud of unconsciousness and hit the cold hard...carpet. The first thing he remembered was hearing the Mii channel song, and then he saw on their cheap tv the Waluigi Mii he'd made. Glancing behind him, Mario was laying on his side, passed out on the couch and drooling.

Luigi shook him. "Bro... Bro, are you okay? Wake up!"

Mario stirred and emitted a gruff moan.

Luigi picked up Mario's flip phone that was sandwiched between the couch cushions. It had a message from Princess Peach.

"Plz com 2 cstle," it said in typical 2006 texting lingo.

In conclusion, the Mario brothers found out that Wii was definitely more interesting after eating bootleg mushrooms. Since that wasn't something they planned on doing all of the time, or ever again for that matter, it made more sense to just buy some more games and a few controllers. But first, being the Mario brothers, there was business at the castle. The brothers left their home, occasionally pinching each other to make sure they were still lucid and on Earth.

 **Next time: The competitors...**


	3. The Competition

**Mario and Luigi enter the Wiivolution**

 **Part 3: The competition**

 **Created: 8/26/17, 8/27, edited 9/20/17**

 **Author note: More social commentary on console wars.**

* * *

The future was unsure but exciting for Mario. His Nintendo DS games were great all 2006, including the series reboot 'New Super Mario Bros.', but how it would be for the Wii? Would his games be as memorable as those that came on the consoles before it?

The slippery wrench fell from Mario's gloved hands, forcing him to reach around for it in the darkness underneath the kitchen sink.

Mario also wondered if Luigi was having an easier time with the watering system outside, because he was having major trouble with the sink. Maybe the castle's plumbing being at least a hundred years old had something to do with it. Or maybe the bootleg mushrooms scrambled his brain earlier. Either way, the princess keeping him company as she baked a cake kelp it from becoming too unbearable.

"-Yeah Princess, I had a crazy morning but Luigi and I have a Wii now and that's all that matters."

Princess Peach let out a gentle laugh. "Mario, tee hee! You still buy those systems? Nintendo is for adolescents!"

The wrench in Mario's hand dropped again, along with his jaw this time. "Princess?! Then what do you buy?"

Peach sat aside her baking pan and pulled a paper advertisement from her pink Coach bag. It was an ad for the new Sony PlayStation 3, specifically the fully featured but very expensive 60gb version. "Don't get me wrong, Mario. I love to play those fun little Nintendo games, but I wanted to step it up this console generation."

Mario yanked the ad from her, staring at it in disbelief. He knew all about the PS3's specs (you must know your enemy and whatnot) but he scanned it over again in search of whatever he was missing. "Step it up?"

Peach went back to mixing. "Yes, my daddy got it for me last week. Would you believe only the shops in Fahr Outpost still had some? Insane, right? But it's set up and looks amazing setting under my giant plasma tv. I even have a game I think you'll like called Ridge Racer 7-"

"OKAY!...I mean, I'd better focus on this drain…" He tucked his head back under the cabinet, working in silence.

* * *

Luigi got spayed in the face by the gardening system again. He was now drenched from blue overalls to green shirt to white undershirt to shivering chest. It was a good thing his cellphone was safely laying in a lawn chair, because it rung that very moment. Luigi spit out some water and shivered before picking up the phone and seeing Princess Daisy on the caller id.

"Oh no. If I have to use a pickaxe again..." He thought. "Hello?"

"Hi I'm Daisy! What ya doing, Luigi?"

"Work."

"Then now it's time for 'play'. Let's do it. 'Unreal Championship 2'...Hello?"

Daisy was like Mario in physical extremity but worse. At least Mario tended to be 'E' rated. Daisy's games were 'intense'; the one she mentioned and especially that one involving grand theft auto in San Andreas (if only Luigi could remember the name of it). Either way, her Xbox library was a bit more mature than his usual GameCube one and while fun, he'd be just as content with Smash Brothers Melee. Those thoughts manifested in a sour look he was glad no one was around to see.

"Hello? Still there Luigi?"

"Oh, uh...when?" Luigi asked.

"Tonight! We can get Peach over for once, AND Mario."

"M-mario?!...Sounds great. I'll tell everyone."

Luigi shivered again. Somehow it had up to this point escaped 'Nintendo elitist' Mario that Daisy was a hardcore Xbox fangirl. Luigi knew and didn't mind, games were games, but how would Mario react? Or Peach for that matter, judging by how fun she had with their GameCube. She was probably as hardcore of a Nintendo fan as Mario!

* * *

Peach gave the multiple boxes cluttering up the floor a quick glance and then shrugged her shoulders. "Toad, I am indeed done with those, and Nintendo for that matter. They don't even play movies..."

Mario stepped into the entertainment room looking traumatized.

Peach blushed at the sight of him. "Oh, thank you dear for fixing everything like you always do!" She gave Mario a brief kiss and left for the kitchen again.

"What's up?" Toad asked. "...Not gonna talk? Whatever." Toad dug through a big box of DVD cases. "Yep. I'm glad to get rid of these."

Mario sprung to life. "-But what's wrong with them?"

"Everything, Mario! The movies are boring and I'm sure some of these are from when they first invented dvds like, I dunno a hundred years ago? Anyway if she rebuys her collection in blu-ray or whatever I can maybe get some good stuff in the castle for once."

Mario shook his head. "Toad, this is crazy. Just a week ago we were all playing, having fun, arguing, you know the deal, over Mario Party on the GameCube. Just like good old times! What happened to us?"

"Uh, the future? Video games can do more than game now."

Mario's eye twitched. "But isn't the point the gaming part? To have fun? Nintendo has never not provided that."

"Who says they're mutual? Now look here." Toad shoved a weathered looking DVD case in Mario's face. "Keep? Or toss?"

Mario squinted at it. "' _Oregon Trail: Actual_ _F_ _ootage_ '? Eldstar, these ARE ancient dvds! But still, once you guys play a Wii, it'll change everything. I just have to get some games and remotes, you'll see!"

Toad laughed as he dug through more boxes, mostly nation documentaries or political campaigns. "You take this thing way too seriously."

Mario crossed his arms. "I do not!"

"Cake is ready!" Peach announced from another room. "Will someone be a dear and get Luigi?"

Toad pushed a box aside. "Well I did need to go outside to-"

"I'll do it." Mario was out of the room before Toad could protest.

* * *

"LUIGI!"

"Whoa!" The titular plumber almost lost his balance on the edge of the castle moat.

Mario whipped around the corner. "There you are. Did you have trouble being all by yourself and without your big brother's help?" Mario asked with a teasing smirk.

Luigi picked himself up with a grunt. "Nope. No problem. And I'm wet because I wanted to swim in the moat."

Mario leaned over the edge of the bridge. "Bro. The moat is drained today."

"...I mean I worked really really hard and sweated. You know, like a real man and stuff!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "Sure. Anyway, I have the most horrible news ever. Worse than Bowser!"

Luigi gasped.

"Uh huh, Peach is a SONY fan! Toad a Blu-ray fan! We have to get them back on our side!"

"Our side?"

"Nintendo's side. You know what I mean."

"How is this worse than Bowser?"

"Bowser plays for the 'big N's' team. As much as we raid his castle, you should know how he always has a NES on standby. Oh and Peach baked another cake. We should probably check it out to be nice."

The Mario bros entered the castle and made way for the kitchen.

"...So you'd never play any other console?" Luigi suddenly asked.

"What do they have to offer me?"

"Fun?"

"I have that."

"We didn't have too much of that this morning."

Mario stopped Luigi right outside the kitchen door. "I don't like where you're going with this. Under the sacred 'Plumber's oath', spill it, little brother."

Luigi sighed. Mario always seemed to to use the plumber oath on him before he could remember to try the same. "Daisy called and she wants a gaming night with you and Peach too."

Mario's face brightened. "Oh cool. What's the game?"

"Unrealistic Tournament."

"Oh, like Mario Party?"

Luigi shook his head. "Maybe I got the name wrong. Anyway it's on the Xbox."

"Fine with me. Weird, I didn't know Daisy had a GameCube…"

"I said Xbox."

Mario froze. "WHAT?"

The door opened to reveal a certain blonde princess. "The cake is ready!"

Mario glanced at Luigi. "We will discuss this after our snack..."

Luigi rolled his eyes. This probably wouldn't end well.

* * *

Yoshi was chilling out at his treetop home in Dinosaur Land, a home newly equipped with a thing called a 'mailbox'. His home even had an address: '1'. Maybe this was useless now, he reasoned, but when his other neighbors finally updated it would be relevant and he'd be the trendsetter for once.

"Mail call!"

Yoshi rushed to the window to see the goonie drop his subscription magazine randomly in front of his house. This was the proper procedure for homes WITHOUT a mailbox.

Yoshi groaned, this being the twentieth straight time that the mail carriers ignored his fancy mailbox. Well he enjoyed the Game Pro magazine at least. He leafed through a few pages, all full of advertisements and coverage on the latest games. Being a minimum wage Dinosaur, Yoshi enjoyed playing with Mario and friends on their consoles but he could never afford have his own. Now things would change. He wasn't going to get a hardcore Xbox, expensive PlayStation, or hard to find Wii.

He was going to build a PC...

...Crickets chirped.

"What? Computers are awesome!" Yoshi justified to the narration. "I can build one for the same price as a console AND upgrade it. It'll be fun!"

But no one cared, because Yoshi was alone and talking to himself. Anyway-

 **Next time: The console war heats up!**


	4. A Different Experience

**Mario and Luigi enter the Wiivolution**

 **Part 4:** **A different** **experience**

 **Created: 8/27/17- 9/28/17**

 **Author note: Er, more of the same? Enjoy? Development time long due to hectic life and/or writers block.**

* * *

Mario, Luigi, and Peach strolled up the path leading to Daisy's castle. Her green trimmed hedges contrasted the orange setting sun. Daisy's castle was more modestly styled compared to Peach's due to Sarasaland culture developing independently from the Mushroom Kingdom. Instead of a paint job the structure was the natural color of the marble, and vegetation was allowed to grow freely along the sides. If it was spring or summer instead of autumn, there would have been large and exotic flowers to add to the mix, but either way the scenery was lost on Mario, who stomped along.

"...Luigi. I cannot believe you tricked me into playing a Xbox."

"Tricked?! But you agreed after that fifth cake slice you scarfed down. Peach, back me up." Luigi glanced towards Peach. She wasn't as overt as Mario, but her plain face and lack of eye contact said it all.

"Oh dear. I do hope these games are 'proper'."

"Exactly. Like, what kind of game is this, little brother?"

That tone again, Luigi thought. "It is intense but Daisy isn't that extreme. She wouldn't scar us."

"Have you played it before?"

"Yes."

Mario gasped.

"You're being dramatic."

"Oh, Mario!" Peach clung to his shoulder all of a sudden. "I'm scared!"

Luigi rolled his eyes. "That's goes for both of you-"

"Howdy y'all!" Daisy greeted from the front door. She wore orange and yellow sports attire and her hair was down in an even more casual way than usual.

Luigi whipped back around as Mario and Peach stopped dead behind him. "Were you standing there the whole time?"

She smiled. "Yep and chill. My games won't bite!"

"We'll see," Mario said under his breath.

* * *

Toadette came to the castle for her evening shift. As a manager she had a lot to do in overseeing the general upkeep of Peach's Castle and her staff.

"There you are, Miss Toadette. Have you laid your eyes on the entertainment room? It is in utter shambles, I say!"

Toadette turned around from the clocking station to see Toadsworth. The normally genial castle adviser's gray eyebrows were twisted in a sour look, so much so that she avoided staring directly back. "Mr. Toadsworth!...Umm, what's wrong..sir?"

"Our entertainment room is ridden with those DVD doohickeys everywhere! I knew once our Princess got that 'Station three', things would go badly."

"Station?...You mean the PS3? Oh my gosh- she must have set it up now and I can't wait to play- I mean...I will look into it, Mr. Toadsworth."

He smiled. "Splendid! Get to it." Toadsworth's glance lingered on Toadette as she left to check out the 'ruckus'. Once Toadette got there she saw that Toadsworth's tale was true. DVDs were piled everywhere from the floor to couch to tables. Incidentally Toad, the other main manager, was in the middle of it.

"Toad?!"

"Babe? Hey, look here." Toad tossed a DVD case towards Toadette. "Toss or keep?"

"What is this? ' _The Toad Warrior: Cut edition'_? Huh?"

"I'm thinking toss. After all, we're keeping the uncut version definitely."

Toadette put her hands on her hips. "Stop fooling around. Mr. Toadsworth has already noticed so it's only a matter of time before he gets the Princess on us."

Toad waved dismissively. "Peach knows because she asked me to do this. Besides, she's gonna be out for the night with the Mario's. Relax, we have this room to ourselves."

Toadette pouted. "But I don't want to help you sift through this junk! I'd throw it all away."

"Never been a fan of movies have you?"

"Not really. But I'm kind of interested in that PlayStation. That's it over there, right?" Toadette eyed the black and silver console that rested under Peach's 65" plasma TV. "Wow, who set it up for her? I know she got it a week ago but it was still in the box the other day."

"You're looking at the tech master himself. Let's take a break and play this racing game Peach has."

Toadette jumped up and down, her eyes never leaving the PS3. "Oh yeah! Is it true that the controller has a touch screen?"

Toad cleared away some boxes right in front of the tv. "No. I did upgrade the harddrive to 100gb already though."

"I don't know what you're talking about but that sounds so cool!" Toadette sat down into a clear spot, while Toad started the PS3 up.

Meanwhile, Toadsworth was listening outside the room. "Well, I now see that 'third station' will be an issue in this castle. If only our dear Princess wasn't so wrapped up into this!"

* * *

At Best Buy, a Mega Goomba Geek Squad member had just convinced some customers that they wanted to buy a Macbook pro instead of whatever they walked into the store wanting. He put another check on under his name on the whiteboard they kelp behind the counter, the hundredth or so check mark.

A Bumpty co-worker rolled his eyes. "You're on fire, Richard. None of us even stand a chance for that end of the month promotion. Not even with those people returning those 360s."

Richard raised one eyebrow and grunted.

"You know. The Xboxes or Zboxes exploding? I don't keep up with the toys for kids these days."

Richard smirked. "Oh that. A friend of mine has one. Something bout red rings, right? Uh, anyway, I can make anyone want an Apple Mac, even that dumb looking dinosaur over there!"

The Bumpty clerk glanced at Yoshi, currently comparing video graphics cards in the PC aisle, and chuckled. "He looks especially slow. Go for it. I don't think it'll work."

"Pffft! We'll see." Richard waddled his way over to Yoshi. "Hello, valued customer!"

Yoshi jumped as anyone would seeing a giant smiling goomba upon him. "Uh, h-hello?"

"-As a Geek Squad member, I am trained to give our customers the best deal. Ever. Or else. I see you're interested in computers, ain't that right?" Dick asked.

Yoshi inched back nodding.

"Great. Knew you weren't that dumb. If you would just mosey on over there, I have some wonderful Macbooks that-"

"I'm building my computer...What did you just call me?"

"But a Macbook is better! Whatareya sayin?"

Yoshi frowned. "Listen, I've done my research and I know what I want. Could you tell me which of these graphics cards have 'advanced GL'?"

Dick returned the look, his face contorting into the frown most goombas constantly had. "Listen, I'm just tryna help YOU out. You need an iMac."

"No I don't! Nevermind…" Yoshi started to walk away.

"All I'm sayin is that we get customers coming in everyday with screwed up virus infected pcs. They never do that with the Apple stuff. Your loss, shorty!"

Yoshi distanced himself as soon as he could. 'Yoshiegg dot com' was probably the better place to order his pc stuff anyway, though what Richard said lingered on his mind a little. A pc did have a little more upkeep than a Mac or a console for that matter. Would it still be worth it?

* * *

Daisy's entertainment room was large, much like Peach's but dimly lit and the walls were covered with various sports posters. In one corner was a foosball table, another an arcade machine, and the other several dart boards on the wall. The last corner of room had Daisy's giant TV, rivaling Peach's. All this combined with the well trended tan carpet gave any impression but the one that this room belonged to a Princess.

Daisy entered the room with a bowl full of nachos and plopped down on the edge of the large padded leather couch, near Luigi. Peach was next to him and Mario on the farthest edge.

"You'll have to excuse the mess guys. The maid was sick today. Now where is that Lan adapter?" Daisy sprung up again after handing the bowl to Luigi and dove near the tv stand.

"What mess?" Luigi asked, helping himself to the hot cheesy snack. "I don't see anything."

"Me neither," Peach added, smiling as her eyes pranced about the room.

Meanwhile Mario was tapping his right foot and huffing and puffing to the audience of no one. Complacently, he dug the thing from underneath him that had been rattling, an empty bag of Hoggle's brand pork skins. Mario shrugged, Daisy had good taste at least.

The tomboy princess then emerged from the darkness under the tv. "Found it! We're gonna be online, y'all!"

Luigi stopped stuffing his face with nachos. "Uh, really? But we're all beginners. Shouldn't we start er, slow?"

Daisy tossed some Xbox controllers their way. "Nonsense. You learn quickest when thrown into the fray, don't ya know?"

"That's an achievement in Melee!" Mario said, forgetting that he was supposed to be giving everyone the silent treatment. Since he'd already broken the sacred 'code of the salty and ill tempered' he figured to might as well ask about something.

"Daisy. This is the original Xbox, right?"

Daisy sat next to Luigi as she started the game up. "Yep. Had it couple of years."

Mario frowned. "Okay. But you know they have a new one right?"

Daisy nodded. Luigi rolled his eyes. Peach stared at the tv in anticipation.

Mario continued. "As so, why don't you have it?"

"Mario!"

"What, little brother."

"Stop that!"

"Nah, I ain't offended. I know that 360 has been out for a year," Daisy said as she whizzed through 'Unreal Championships' menus, "but I guess I'm happy with what I got. Besides those new models break more than Bowser's heart."

"Ha ha," Peach laughed dryly. "So how do we play your lovely game? Is this a sport?"

"Pray tell," Mario added. "We clicked through the menus so fast all I can tell from the screen is that we're all joining a server or something!"

"Deathmatch!" Daisy answered.

Mario gasped. "Like a one stock melee match?"

Daisy shrugged playfully. "Sssure...Let me brief y'all on the controls and well, you'll figure it out soon enough."

* * *

 **Later that night…**

Toadette's hot pink Ferrari F340 banged against the railings as she struggled to maintain control on the curvy and bumpy mountainous path. Competitor after competitor zoomed passed her as she tried to just stay on the road and away from the cliff edge. She finished dead last; if this was Mario Kart she'd be ashamed to even show her face- Of course she was always a better driver in real life than in video games, so that was unlikely to happen.

"Time for snacks," Toad said.

Toadette the controller down. "I'll pass, thank you. And no, it's not because I'm horrible at this game. It's fun and all, but I just think we should start on cleaning and stuff and-" Toadette glanced at the wall clock and her heart skipped a beat. It was ten o'clock already.

Before she could speak, she heard someone whistling down the halls, and only one person in the castle had such an old timey habit.

"Oh my!" Toadsworth said as he entered. He caught Toad and Toadette in the middle of the junk pile and covered his mouth in exaggerated shock. "Has this work been to daunting for only our hardest working managers?" He tapped his cane impatiently as if to drill in the sarcasm.

Toadette hung her head. "I'm so sorry Mr. Toadsworth."

Toad nodded while also scanning the room quickly for a trump card. Then he found it. "Yeah, very sorry...Hey what do you think? Keep or toss?"

"Toad?!"

Toad ignored Toadette as he handed Toadsworth a well preserved but obviously old VHS tape. On it was a sticker with the label, "Peach talent video".

Toadworh's face softened as he recognized the prized object. "H-how..where did this come from?" A tear trickled from one eye.

"Weird, I thought this was just dvds.." Toadette said, scratching her head.

"Except for that. You weren't working here when it happened babe, but it got lost when we renovated the castle in the 90s. It's a video recording of Peach as a toddler in her first talent show."

"What?!"

"I found it earlier, crazy right?"

Toadsworth sniffled some more. "Oh my I...you two continue to work okay?" He left the room, still sobbing and holding the video.

Toadette turned to Toad and gave him a huge hug. "That was kind of weird but it worked!" She pulled away. "Okay but seriously we need to cut off this game and actually clean up now."

Toad chuckled. "Fine, babe. I knew that time was coming eventually…"

* * *

Yoshi closed ten tabs in the browser except one from NewYoshiegg, a popular computer and electronics website. It contained his shopping cart full of pc parts from case to motherboard to memory chips. Over the past couple of hours he'd been warding off other customers from a super fast computer he'd 'borrowed' to narrow down what he wanted. The mouse cursor lingered on the 'place order' icon.

"Sorry sir, but -"

"Oh. My. Goodness. Hold on! I just need to put in my credit card info, okay?" Yoshi snapped.

The manager of the shop crossed her arms. "We're closing. Are you interested in this display pc you've been hogging forever? See that price? Would you like to buy it right now since you like it so much?"

Yoshi faced the manager with a sinking feeling. Then he noticed the neat little price label. He certainly didn't have a thousand dinosaur coins in his pocket, or pockets at all for that matter. "Oops, I'm sorry. I thought you were..never mind. Will this browser page still be open in the morning?"

The Yoshi girl sighed. "Of course it won't. We erase the browser history every night because weirdos like you like have a free computer and do all kind of things. I know computers are rare here but if you shop in the MK-"

"Stores in the Mushroom Kingdom like to push Apple products only. They suck. The stores I mean, not the Apples."

The clerk gave Yoshi the oddest look. "What are you talking about?" She grabbed the mouse.

Yoshi quickly put a hand over hers. "Please wait! Just let me do the order. I don't have my own computer at home!"

"Security!" she screeched.

Yoshi kicked it into high gear and sprinted out of the store before the burly Reznor on guard could catch up. That was a couple of hours down the drain he reasoned, but it was better than a night in in the Dinosaur Land penitentiary. Once he dragged himself home he saw that it was ten at night.

"Now what will I do?" Yoshi asked himself. "Oh yeah, I'll call the smartest person I know. My old buddy Wiggletron."

Yoshi dug up his old landline from the piles of fruit laying everywhere.

After a few rings no one picked up.

Yoshi left a voicemail, asking for help but not being too specific.

-He didn't want to sound pathetic after all.

...Yoshi was now bored.

The refrigerator was empty as usual!

Unable to make multiple sentence paragraphs now, Yoshi collapsed on his hammock for the night.

* * *

Mario threw the Xbox controller to the floor, Daisy doing the same immediately after. Luigi and Peach both winched at first but then smiled at each other. Their team had won another capture the flag match, continuing the five to nothing win streak. The game was now on a screen waiting for more players for the next match.

"You wouldn't be winning if not for those online people on your team. I think they're cheating!" Mario growled.

"I heard that, n00b! You sound funny. Who are you anyway?" A young sounding voice said through the game. Voice chat was on for the full experience and Daisy had a particularly sensitive microphone.

"I'm Mario. Where are your parents? Are you old enough for this game?!"

"Nah nah! I'm Mario. Woo hoo!" the kid teased.

"Can't this be turned off?" Luigi whispered.

"And miss out on this comedy? I don't think so," Daisy laughed, completely over her rage from a moment ago. "Also, Peach had the lowest death count. Didn't think you much of a gamer, girl."

Peach smiled modestly. "Tee hee, I just play it safe. I never knew 'dominating' people I don't know online could be so much fun!"

"Hot girl alert!" another voice online said.

Daisy huffed. "I've been talking all the time but I don't sound hot?"

"Nope!" said the unsupervised kid.

"And she sounds fat," a nasally voice coming from a teenager said.

Daisy grabbed the mic, red in the face. "Yeah, maybe we should cut this off.."

"I never knew people online could be so mean," Luigi said.

"So this is the comedy?" Peach asked.

"Pretty much, girl. Get used to it...Well look at the time!"

Luigi checked his flip phone. "Ten? Daisy, it was fun as always but I think we have a certain Princess to escort back home."

"Yeah we do," Mario groaned as he got up unceremoniously and headed out.

Daisy shrugged. "What a sore loser!"

Luigi got up. "It's a bit more than that. Peach, hold on. Let me speak to him before we go."

Peach nodded. When Luigi was out of ear shot she turned to Daisy. "Daisy, did I tell you about my very own console?"

"What?"

"Yes, dear. I have a brand new-"

...Outside, Mario stood around near the door. He was staring out into a dark night sky with no stars visible through the cloudy overcast.

Luigi approached slowly. "Bro..."

Mario turned around. "Where's the Princess?"

"Come on. Are we really gonna have issues about dumb video games?"

Mario shook his head. "No. I've been thinking long and hard.."

"I just followed you out here from a second ago."

Mario laughed, catching Luigi off guard. If there was one thing Luigi didn't understand about Mario, it was his 180 mood changes. "Well I'm a quick thinker. Anyway, yeah I had fun I guess. Daisy may be onto something with this online multiplayer stuff. But it is getting late. We can talk about it tomorrow when-"

Just then, the brothers heard rapid clacks of high heels on Daisy's tiled walkway as Peach rushed out of the doors.

"Well you don't gotta play with me any more, sista!" Daisy screamed from the door.

Peach faced her sharply. "I won't. Enjoy your outdated technology, dear!"

Daisy's door slammed as the Mario brothers stared at each other with wide eyes.

"I think this console war thing is contagious.." Luigi muttered.

 **Next time: The aftermath!**


	5. This means war

**Mario and Luigi Enter the Wiivolution**

 **Chapter 5: This Means War...**

* * *

Yoshi lived alone, but his tree house was still buzzing with excitement. The powered on gaming PC in the corner had the latest processor, a custom waterloop, and RGB lighting. He also had an online platform installed for his various games- If only he had people to play with! He tried to hit up Toad but he couldn't get away from Peach's PS3 and the story was similar with everyone else.

Yoshi dialed the last person left, his bestie (most of the time). "Hey Mario. What's going on?" He heard Luigi and Daisy along with the rapid clacking of game controllers in the background. And explosions. And bad words.

"It's nothing," Mario insisted. "Still doing that 'pc' thing?"

"Yeah, my friend came over this morning to help and we went to Microzonecenter to pick up the parts locally. It's only eight so do you want to check it out?"

"...I don't play nothing unless it's Nintendo!" He slam his fist on the kitchen table he stood at. Surprisingly though it was still less loud than the gaming coming from another room.

Yoshi sigh on the other end. "Between you and the mess with the Princesses and the Toads this is crazy! It's been a week already..."

Meanwhile, outside the kitchen where Mario spoke to Yoshi, Luigi's character had lost all of their lives but Daisy was still going strong in the den. Their team wasn't likely to win against professional gamers (a thing Luigi didn't know existed until Daisy showed him) from Giant Land but they was having fun and that's what mattered. When the match was over he checked his buzzing phone.

"Peach is asking if Daisy is still over here or not. She says she won't visit until Daisy's gone!" he yelled so Mario could hear.

Mario hung up from his phone call and walk in the room. "It is getting late, so-"

"Fine," Daisy remark. "Your internet lags way less than mine so that was pretty tight. Thanks for the time I did have."

"That's good!" Luigi stood up as she packed her things, the bag for the Xbox she brought over and her Unreal Championship game. "So does this mean this war is over?"

Daisy whipped around. "Heck no, Green! Peach thinks any console that didn't come out like, five minutes ago is old! She already wants to trade her launch games for new releases!"

Right then, someone tap on the door. Peach slipped in one moment later, literally even, like she was waiting just outside the entire time in the November cold. She gasp then held her nose high at some of the things she saw.

"I will wait patiently outside until these ancient relics are out of here!"

Now Daisy AND Mario fumed. Mario had at least fifty classic games in the room on shelves that the princess had effectively dumped all over. At that moment, Luigi realized that something HAD to be done and to his surprise it was!

…

A bright white light was switched on, making the half dozen in the empty room shield their eyes assuming they weren't half sleep. Seated in one circle were Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Toadette, Toad, Wario, Donkey Kong, even Bowser somehow.

"Where the heck are we?!" Bowser bark right away. He tried to hop up but he was chained down. He also wore a sleeping crap with a pink heart design on it. Without usage of his arms, there was nothing he could do about it. Thankfully there were bigger issues than his masculinity..

"We're being kidnapped!" Toadette screech, secured by heavy velcro.

Mario woke up right away, bouncing with energy. "Who? What? Where? Oof!" His chair flip on its side and oddly enough he went right back to snoozing. Or the blow knocked him out.

Daisy shot a glare at Bowser, trying to channel her inner skills to shoot a laser or something. Unfortunately for her she was just an awkward gamer girl so she settled for, "You're dead."

"Stop making faces at me, flower chick. I don't kidnap myself. I just ain't into that." Bowser gave the impression of shrugging under all of those chains and locks.

"Then who's the scoundrel?! Grrrr." Wario wasn't tied down by much compared to others. Maybe the assailant knew he'd be too lazy to make an effort..

"Ook! Ook! Guys. Wait!"

Everyone awake expectantly look at Donkey Kong while he fiddled around under the thick ropes he was tied down with.

"Yes, eep eep! I can reach my PlayStation Portable!"

"Noooo way!" Toad exclaim, jealous.

Finally Luigi's eyelids fluttered open. He got the same shock as everyone else being in the random room. His body clock told him it still early that morning, that and the bed clothes everyone wore.

"What's going on?"

Peach, the less excited of them all turned his way. "You get used to it, dear..."

"LISTEN UP," a booming spoke a voice from above, jolting all. Everyone's eyes wandered in vain as it continued. "YOU ARE HERE TODAY TO TALK."

"About... what?" Mario mumbled, face down still.

"ABOUT GAMES AND JUNK! YOU WON'T BE CRAWLING OUT OF HERE UNTIL YOU UNANIMOUSLY AGREE ON AN ANSWER TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS-"

Everyone gasp, cry, or grumble, especially Luigi because he knew that they'd never come to an agreement with this sort of bunch!

"AND THE FIRST IS..."

* * *

 _ **TO BE CONTINUED!**_

 _ **Author note: This is back and… it got dark. Who kidnapped them? Is it obvious? If you think so think again or stay tuned!**_

 _ **Dates: (handwritten drafts) 12/29/18, 1/4/19. (other) 1/15/19, 1/23/18**_


	6. Banded

**Mario and Luigi Enter the Wiivolution**

 **Chapter 6: Banded**

* * *

Everyone in that empty room tensed while awaiting the first question. Their eyes locked on to one another to find mirrored expressions of apprehension. This was nail biting nervousness, if their hands for that matter were accessible.

"WHAT IS THE BEST CONSOLE OF ALL TIME?"

"...T-the Dreamcast?" Luigi squeak.

Mario was shocked. "You mean SNES, bro?"

"The PlayStation three!" Peach pontificate, though that was really the only console she knew to blurt out. She was rightfully ignored.

"Maybe the Mega Drive?" Daisy answered. "I dunno. Moral Kombat was fun in the day."

"Eep eep! Atari 2600." No one knew it, but Donkey Kong had the emulator on his hacked PSP.

"Showing your age aren't ya, ape?" Wario sneer in his direction.

"We're getting nowhere. All our answers are different!" Toadette confessed with watering eyes.

"Homegirl, chill. I got the answer." Everyone stare at Toad bouncing excitedly. "The best console is… the one someone else's already bought so you can come over their house and play for free!"

His statement weighed on everyone before Mario spoke first. "You know, that does make sense. Otherwise we'd have to personally own every system."

"It is best when we share and swap games," Peach reluctantly added. "Except from Wario because then they come back smelling weird."

Wario glared. "Hey!"

Someone heavy stomp their foot down. "Gah! But no one shares with me at all!"

"Yes, dear. That's because you're Bowser," Peach deadpan.

"THAT WAS A VERY QUICK CONCLUSION, MAYBE TOO QUICK. Hmm… I got it..." That ominous voice trailed off. "COMPARE CONSOLES AS A WHOLE VS PC! AGREE ON THIS. HA HA."

In the back of Mario's mind, that sounded familiar.

"I AM WAITING!"

Wario glanced around with a sheepish smile. "What is Pee-cee again?"

Bowser sigh. "It can come in several models, formats, whatever, but it's a thing you surf the web on, play games, do business stuff or uh… watch videos on. Iggy watches these 'animes' and some of em I've caught are good-"

Toad, Donkey Kong, Mario, Peach, and Wario burst out in laughter.

"Teehee! It's 2006 dear," Peach tease.

"Anime is for losers! Ha ha ha!" Wario added.

Luigi rolled his eyes and just wished he'd fall over and wake up a moment later in bed. Daisy meanwhile was so annoyed she wanted to punch someone but her ropes were super tight and scratchy.

Meanwhile Bowser's embarrassment boiled to rage. "Good...for inspiration to beat you pesky losers up! Their fighting moves are awesome! LIKE ME!"

Mario eased off the laughter. "Koopa Ball Z is pretty 'hype' so you get a pass this time, nerd!"

"MAKE A CHOICE!"

Sweat droplets fell from Mario's face as he faced upwards and thought of his gambit. "PC. Everyone answer 'pc'. Just do it," he whispered at the end.

"PC."

"PC?"

"Computer."

"Pee-Cee. Wa! Am I saying it right?"

"Politically correct… I mean Personal Computer," and so on were said by everyone.

"Very good. YOUR COOPERATION WAS A LITTLE TOO EASY BUT YOU CHOSE CORRECTLY. NEXT QUESTION-"

"Oh but I have a question for you, mysterious voice." Mario smiled slyly.

"EXCUSE ME?"

"I know exactly who you are, 'bestie'."

"Bestie?" Luigi shook his head, bewildered. "It can't be-"

"It is! It's Yoshi!

"I knew it!… Actually I didn't." Wario proceeded to pick his nose. A feat, being tied up.

"But he's a nice guy and helps me with homework." Daisy got a little less confident with the stares she got. "I mean… we don't talk much but.."

"Stop pretending you have friends." Toad said, which made Toadette giggle. Both shut up when Daisy retaliate by lunging at Toad in particular. Her chair flip it forward with her still stuck to it and the brunette instead landed face forward near the stinky feet of Donkey Kong.

"Eep eep! We have to get Yoshi!" With his large muscles DK strain to break his locks but they were heavy steel. That was it dawned on the ape how everyone's restrains differ. The Toads were tied with wrapping tape, Peach a sort of thick ribbon, Mario and Luigi had steel cables, Wario had thin thread, Bowser had all of the above and Daisy… standard rope. He'd tussled enough with the Kremlings to know that-

"Ook! Burn her ropes. Ook!"

Daisy's eyes abruptly opened. "Say what, dawg?!"

Bowser's flame jet shot across half of the room inches above Daisy laid out, missing her actually. What was left when the fire subsided was someone short and crispy sitting in a chair.

"I'm.. okay...homeboys...*cough*" Toad was blacked but his wide smile was sparkly white.

"Perfect, now Toad can free us and we can all storm Yoshi's place. Right here. Right now!" Mario spoke.

"Are we gonna talk about-"

"No Luigi! Right here right now! You heard me!" Like a locomotive at full speed, nothing could stop a call like that from Mario.

Luigi was released to walk around in t-shirt and boxers along with others. The voice never spoke again so did that mean Mario was right? He felt a draft from the open door and he was the last one left inside. He discovered they were being held in a large rental storage area off of Starman road. Mario stood before the others with a flickering torch in his hand, dimly lighting them all.

"Just down the street is a warp pipe to the sewers. From there we can easily reach Yoshi's Island."

Bowser clinched his fists. "I don't even like ya losers but I'll help ya pulverize Dinosaur breath. LET ME AT EM!" Wario and Donkey Kong raised their fists also. Toad started to before Toadette prodded him to stop.

"Ya'll are whack!" Daisy scream, but they ignored her and march to that pipe except for Peach. She stood off to the side dainty yet impatiently.

"Do not look at me that way, dears. My loyal Toads are representing me right now. If I personally go to the island my hair might be frizzy later."

Both Luigi and Daisy brush past her. He held out his hand and surprisingly Daisy grab it in return. She only gave the green plumber a nod that signaled she was on his page. They were momentarily ejected from that warp pipe to a different side of the planet where it was also nice and warm for November, and the sun was rising already. They rush down a dirt path to Yoshi's village.

…

"Come out Yoshi! Your computer supremacy ends now!"

Yoshi's treehouse was located among other tall trees and exotic vegetation with huts of other Dinosaur residents were scattered nearby. None of them however featured a curious door bell involving a long string that hung to the ground and if pulled, rung a loud bell outside his tree house door. Needless to say, Mario was yanking on that string forever.

Finally Donkey Kong climb up the tree and peek though a window. "Eep! No one's awake in there as far as I can see." This news made everyone groan.

"Aww dude! I wanted to!..." Toad froze with his fists in the air. "What are we mad about again?"

"Something about 'political correctness'?" Toadette ask.

"'Pancakes and cheese', my favorite breakfast!" Wario's stomach began to growl.

Mario took a step onto the dirt street, barefooted. "We'll have to try again later, we're still half naked and we should probably get out of here before any neighbors wake."

"I don't think so, mustache. Get outta my way!" Bowser shove all overs away. "If that dumb dinosaur is sleeping his life away, I'll just show him my special alarm clock!"

Mario rushed to the koopa. "Bowser what are you-?!"

The plumber was knocked back when Bowser shot a fifty foot long flame jet shot high into the sky. It was blindingly bright and the roar could be heard a block away. This blast ignited some over hanging trees and spread quickly through out the canopy. Luigi and Daisy caught up just in time to see an entire patch of forest up in flames, including Yoshi's house!

* * *

 **To be Continued**

 **Author note: Fixed up and chapter renamed on the third date. Org name 'Peak'.**

 **Dates: (handwritten draft) 2/1/19, (other) 2/5/19, edit 2/13/19**


End file.
